11.15.2010

Prelude to War

Oma died at the end of August. That plus school plus being super busy and on the edge of my sanity = no blog posts for a while. I've been unable to think straight enough to form coherent sentences most days, let alone write interesting blog posts.

But things are getting better. After Oma's death I went to a thing called Pirates and Fairies -- a weekend vacation from all my worries. I met someone (I know, I know, I always "meet someone" and it's always like the most life-changing experience ever but this is completely different because shut up) and had an amazing night with him (after giving an offering at Aphrodite's shrine and asking for Her blessing -- She really delivers, just sayin'). He lives in Vancouver, so we agreed to NSA "We'll hang out sometime," whenever I visit, or something.

We've now been officially dating for a month-ish. Not sure of our actual "anniversary" and honestly the actual date doesn't matter -- it was close enough to Thanksgiving (Canadian) that that can be it, which is entirely apropos. I'm very thankful for him because, well, first healthy relationship I've been in. Hello.

This fact made starkly clear against what happened as soon as I got to school: met someone else. A jerk. Used me to get to my best friend and failed miserably, because HELLO LIKE SHE WOULD CHOOSE YOU OVER ME. It sucked because for an entire week I felt absolutely shitty about myself because I wanted to believe he was different -- and then I get home from a weekend away and find out the truth from my bestie: he's been coming on to her, "You're my ideal woman!" blah blah blah. Quite a change from the "No, this isn't about me liking your best friend more" of our break-up.

ANYway. I don't wish to dwell. I simply want to make this point: since I've been dating Fezzik*, I've realized something very important about my past relationships. It wasn't me. It was them.

Of course I'm going to be a horrible girlfriend if you treat me like shit -- my behaviour in a relationship is on a feedback loop from your behaviour. Relationships are things too close, too intimate, for this to NOT happen. It happens with family and it will happen with lovers.

Fezzik makes me feel like I'm special. This has never happened before (trufax). Oh, I've been told I'm special -- but lip service means nothing with no action to back it up. If I don't believe it, it's because I'm not getting the attention I deserve. I deserve to be treated excellently. I deserve epic romance -- by which I mean, of course, not those scripts the sweet-talkers spout, designed to make women swoon, but just plaintalk, straightforward, no bullshit. I deserve honesty and stability. I deserve my Sam Anders, not my Lee Adama (what a horrible match THAT was -- full of passion and fail).

I am now, finally, for the first time in a relationship of any sort, being treated excellently. I am getting straightforward, no bullshit, honest talk and stability -- because that is just how he is. He doesn't sweet talk. He doesn't bullshit. That's what I liked so much about him when we first met; that's why I asked him to bed me. I don't have to second guess what he says or look for hidden meanings. It just is what it is.

So when he says sweet things, I know they're honest. I know he means them. (He does, of course, Yes, dear me a bit -- but as a tease, and never on the important stuff.) And I also know I can trust him to not "let me down easy" (that's such a fucking joke euphemism -- lying to someone makes things harder than just being honest, in the long run), if it comes to that.

I found an honest man -- one who is as attracted and into me as I am to him. One I can talk to. One I don't lose myself in. One who doesn't put me down or make me feel like shit for being me. One who makes me feel smart and sexy not by a silver tongue but by honest eyes. One I am so incredibly lucky to be with, I can't begin to tell you.

And --- the sex is godsdamned incredible.

_________________________________________________
*Names changed to protect the innocent um, slightly-less-guilty-than-some.

7.23.2010

I had all these witty things to say...

...and then I banged my knee uber-hard on the desk and all thought was pushed out of my brain to make way for a singular, large-lettered, sparkley FUCK.

Yes, sparkley. It glittered like a vampire.

In the interest of getting me to a painkiller and then bed as fast as possible, I will do a quick update, in point form:


  • Still miss Major terribly, but I have a kitten now named Charli Dickens, because she is a little dickens. She's lovely, and I wish I'd had her earlier, because Major would have loved her. 
  • Knitting? WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT.
  • In Vancouver to see Oma, who is in the hospital. She has preleukemia, and yes, she really is dying this time. Has been for a long time now, actually, but we're likely to see the end before the end of this year. Very likely. No official prognosis as of yet, but the unofficial off the books one is "a few months, maybe". Whatever happens, I just want her to be pain-free.
  • I have a place for next school year already, and I'm getting a new old car. 
  • Been wearing the same pants and skirt and top for a week now. Want to go home to Powell River. 
  • Very upset over Canada's actions re: the G20. I shouldn't have to rehash; either you've been paying attention or you haven't. If you haven't, check out the Vancouver and Toronto Media Co-ops for an idea of what went down. (Like the arrest of 1000 innocent people, maybe, I don't know.) 
  • Have been working like a dog on various projects that I will go into detail on in a later post, but right now...
I sleep.  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

5.27.2010

200th post: In memoriam of Major

On May 16th, my furry companion Major died. He was 11. We'd only had him for 4 years, but those were the best four years of our lives.



Yesterday I wrote a poem for him. I can't think of a better way to do my 200th post.




I held you as you died,
as best I could – your large body crammed onto the landing where you'd fallen
underneath mom's altar to Kwan Yin.

Small comfort to me, that She held you too.

My arms wrapped around your furry form
and I whispered sweet nothings into your alert ears
while you panted shallowly.
Denials fell heavily from my lips
and passed beyond you, through the floor
where the hungry earth ate them up.
I knew it was the end.
You did too, and you looked at me as if to say
It's okay. I forgive you.

I cried and stroked your velvet paws,
telling you I'd be there when you woke up.
It was just a little sleep.
Your spirit left then – I swear I could feel it – but still I held you
as your body went through the process of dying,
as your mouth opened convulsively
gasping in air you no longer needed.
As your stomach bloated with gases
and I knew the bacteria in your intestines already began
to putrefy you,
the King of Wolves
the Prince of my Heart
the most beautiful person I'd ever seen.

You stiffened with your legs out, awkward angles marring your perfect stillness,
because in our haze of grief we'd forgotten to move you into a more dignified position
too caught up with sobbing as if we'd never breathe normally again.

Only then could we carry you the rest of the way downstairs
to lie on your pillow one last time –
while I, your human mom, dug your grave in the backyard –
where flies landed on your eyes, still open.

I flung myself to the ground and cried over your body.
I sprayed air freshener when the gases escaped your stomach;
for all my love I'm human and could not weather that.
I shooed the flies away.
I priestessed as we bid you farewell, telling you It's okay. You can go now. I won't hold you back.

Still I feel inadequate, unworthy of your infinite love.

Rotten, dead for ten days now
I imagine your face covered in maggots
and still I see you as more beautiful
than anything else in my empty life.

I kiss the rocks at your grave.
I know you can't feel it
and they're covered in dirt, hard and cold against my mouth.
But I imagine your soft fur under my lips
warm
attached to a body that's still full of life.  

5.19.2010

Take from the rich to give to the poor: the Robin Hood Tax and its implications for Canada and the world at large


So, here in Canada we're lobbying for something called The Robin Hood Tax to be put into place1. The basic idea of the tax is this: every day banks and financial institutions have tons of transactions, right? Well, what if we put a small tax -- only .05% -- on each transaction, payable by the institution? Economists estimate that this will earn around 650 billion dollars per year that can be then put towards things like ending poverty and climate change (both here and abroad), making sure banks pay their fair share of the economic recovery, and help to curb the recession.
Banks are obscenely wealthy, and they make that wealth by charging people like you and me. The Robin Hood Tax forces them to give something back, so that people can get some food in their bellies and a roof over their homes -- in environmentally friendly ways. Awesome deal, right?
Well. The current Canadian government doesn't seem to think so, which, honestly, isn't surprising. They are adamantly against implementing this global bank tax, because, well, they're a bunch of rich folks.
Let's get real here, people. When your elected officials come from rich backgrounds, you get a system that continually reinforces the idea that poor people are criminal, and that rich people are the ones who must be protected at all costs. It's called privilege, and our EOs have it in spades (most of them white, cisgendered, heterosexual, rich men). Stephen Harper and his cronies have no idea what it's like to be your everyday Canadian, trying to pull in a living though the system is stacked against you because you weren't rich to begin with (how dare you).
It is because they have no idea what it's like that I take it upon myself, as an active, informed, citizen, to try and let them know how important this tax would be to Canadians -- not only to help us out, but to help us not be embarrassed on the global stage yet again.
So. I sent an email to our Prime Minister Harper and our Finance Minister Flaherty. This is what I said:
I am writing to urge you to support a tiny fee that can make a world of difference.
Economists estimate that a 0.05 per cent tax on speculative banking transactions – such as bonds, derivatives, currencies and hedge fund trading – could raise more than $650 billion each year. To protect consumers, this tax would be limited to transactions between banks and other financial institutions.
This money could be used to support much needed public services and to fight poverty at home and around the world. It is important Canada honour its commitment to the Millennium Development Goals, commitments made at previous G8 and G20 summits and help countries adapt to climate change.
British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, German Chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Nicolas Sarkozy have all stated their support for the Financial Transaction Tax, as have many renowned economists and financial experts.
As the co-chair of the upcoming G20 Summit, Canada can help to ensure world leaders take steps towards adoption of the Financial Transaction Tax.
I have copied my Member of Parliament on this email. As a constituent, I urge them also to support this policy.
I have no idea if it was read by the ones who were supposed to get it or not. And for the record, this is the suggested email at the Robin Hood Tax site that they let you send out; I sent it because, well, it said all I wanted to say.
I received a response from John Weston, MP for West Vancouver -- Sunshine Coast -- Sea to Sky Country. He's a successful West Vancouver lawyer -- that says it all.2
Thank you for your letter regarding the proposal for a financial transactions tax. Our country in no way contributed to the Global Recession, and throughout the crisis, our banks have maintained healthy leverage ratios and largely avoided exposure to toxic assets.
No major Canadian financial institutions failed and none required bailouts from our Government, unlike the situation that was present in the US and several European countries. The strong performance of our banking sector showcased the effectiveness of Canada’s regulatory approach. As we host and chair the G-20 this year, we will encourage the adoption of similar regulatory processes globally.
The strong performance of our banking sector showcased the effectiveness of Canada’s regulatory approach. Our government is committed to reducing taxes, not to imposing a global tax on daily financial services. Modest and responsible regulation is the answer, not additional taxation.
Thank you for taking the time to write.
Ugh. This just pisses me off royally, especially as the BC Liberals are trying to get the HST implemented (that will hopefully fall apart; we've got people all over the province signing the petition against it) -- so, taxation is fine if it's against the citizenry, but not against banks who are so bloated and rich off our hardworking money they are inert, sitting in their greed like fat ticks feeding off the populace?
I wrote him back, a bit politer.
Dear Mr. Weston,
I urge you to step outside West Vancouver from time to time and see how the rest of your constituents live -- the ones who aren't already rich, who have to live on a minimum wage that is so low it should be criminal, who get no funding because they dare to live unconventional lifestyles, or work in the arts.
Not to mention students who are starving because there are no jobs, and even less funding.
Even though Canada may not have contributed directly to the recession, we as a country have made ourselves so dependent on the US economy that their recession hits us just as hard. Not only that, as our major trading partner sinks further into recession, it's going to get worse.
Canada is not an island. You think things may be fine now, but we are part of the global community. What happens in other countries affects us too.
Banks make obscene profits while your people are suffering. What is the downside in taxing the rich to give to the poor?
It's called the Robin Hood Tax for that very reason. You know that old story, of course -- everyone does. Who would you like to be remembered as? The people's hero, or the Sheriff of Nottingham?
Today was declared a national day of action for the tax:  24 hours for the tax.

I have done as much as possible today to let the world know how important it is that the RHT gets pushed through -- I even called the office of the prime minister.3
Hello, Mr. Prime Minister. I'm calling to urge you to reconsider your stance on the Robin Hood Tax and to work towards implementing it. Though Canada has not contributed directly to the recession plaguing the states, we still have made ourselves so dependent on our neighbor country that their economic crises hit us just as hard. Now more than ever Canada needs to be a leader and a friend to our allies, and you need to be a hero to your people. The Robin Hood Tax will make that difference, especially for those in this country who lack the financial means to feed or clothe themselves. How do you want to be remembered? As Robin Hood, or the Sheriff of Nottingham?
Some repeats of my letter to Mr. Weston, but I think they're sentiments that bear repeating.
Anyway, this is only the beginning. It's so important that Canadian citizens take a stand -- while we do nothing, our government works to embarrass us in front of the rest of the world time and time again. There's this false idea here that Canadian politics aren't that interesting, or important -- who cares? We've got free health care!
Well, free health care isn't enough. We also need a health care system that works (did you know birth control isn't covered? Neither is dental. And if you're lucky enough to have a doctor, your appointments are super-short, because there's so much demand and not enough supply), and a system put into place to end poverty before it begins. People in Canada are starving. They have to choose between electricity or rent, or rent or food. Just like people in the United States have to choose between meds or food.
I for one am tired of being poor and being unable to fix it (no jobs + no funding for the arts + student loans + career choices all underfunded and suffering budget cuts = I will die before I'm 30). This tax? Will fix things -- not only for me, but for people who are worse off than I am.
Take a stand. Not only for yourself, but for your fellow Canadian.
-Katje van Loon
writer and activist

1. This isn't a Canadian idea. It's a global idea that Canada's government has rejected, which doesn't sit too well with some of us.
2. To my American or non-BC or other friends who may not get this, West Vancouver is the richest area of town, and Vancouver's cost of living is record high right now. Generally speaking, if you live in West Van, you're loaded, and you're not a member of the lower-class. You're probably not even a member of the middle-class.
3. Sweet Horus that was scary.

5.12.2010

Rejoice!

I have found back my current knitting projects in my suitcase, so once I get my room cleaned up I can actually knit a bit more!

This is good, because I was going stir crazy.

4.28.2010

Ten Speed

I'm in the middle of moving right now. Most things are packed and we're getting the moving van tomorrow. I'm currently in the process of cleaning the house and getting rid of a bunch of stuff because it won't fit in the moving van. 

No, I'm not at the point where I could star on Hoarders, but I do have a pack-rat problem.

Anyway, I was upstairs cleaning and I...fell. And broke something. Unfortunately it wasn't my leg, which would mean I could just overdose on morphine and kill myself. I'm in incredible pain right now and am seriously considering just setting the whole fucking place on fire.*

So. On to Cute Overload! So I can look at goggies and feel better!

-Katje


*This is sarcasm. I am not seriously considering setting the place on fire. I am just frustrated and in pain. 

4.23.2010

Don't let it bother you.

There is something that's been bugging me for a while, and I feel it's time to talk about it on my blog, as it and similar issues have been referenced recently in the feminist blogosphere.

I'm a victim/survivor of abuse. I say both, because I have been victimised, and I have survived said victimisation. I don't wish to go into details about it, but it was mainly emotional and verbal. I'm still working through a lot of it, but some of it is ongoing, and that's more difficult to overcome.

So, I have triggers. We all have triggers. Some should be obvious to most people (ie, a scene in a movie or play that involves a rape is likely to be a huge fucking trigger for many people), and others are going to be a bit more obscure (closing down discussion threads in a forum, frex).

I can have any number of reactions when triggered. These reactions vary from having a hyperventilating panic attack, curling up into a little ball and crying, playing video games or engaging in some other escapist activity designed to numb me, yelling at and hurting someone I care about, drinking myself into a coma, or any other activity based in acute anxiety.

When dealing with these reactions, either to triggers or continued abuse, what I need most is support. I get it, a lot, from most of the people who have to deal with me when this happens. What I also get is a phrase that really bothers me.

Don't let it bother you.

I understand this is meant to come off as trying to help me through, to help me 'cope', but usually it comes from someone who hasn't gone through abuse and couldn't possibly understand what I'm going through. While the intent behind may be good, intent is not magic.

Telling me to not let the abusive behavior get to me is putting the onus on the victim to not get upset when shit is being flung at her, when it's really the burden of the abuser to stop abusing. Revolutionary idea, I know.

Not only that, but it invalidates my experience and my emotions as a survivor of abuse. Don't let it get to you! Grow a thicker-skin! You're so fucking weak!

Basically, they all say the same thing, and when you say "Don't let it get to you," all I hear is "Why the fuck can't you be stronger, you weak bitch?" Which triggers me.

It's not that simple. It never will be. And by saying it constantly, you're adding to the cycle of abused and abuser. As the latter.

So. You want to be an ally to abuse survivors and help to end the cycle? Respect their own agency to deal with it in their own time. Offer the support of a shoulder to cry on, and repeated affirmations of their worth as human beings. Instead of talking, listen. Don't try to 'fix it' with phrases of 'support' like "Don't let it get to you" -- you cannot 'fix it', and those five words make it known that we cannot trust you with our experience, as you  have adopted the guise of the abuser.

I know you want to fix things. But you can't. You can just make sure it doesn't get broke more.

Karma Slave

So a few days ago I finished my version of Zeeby's Bag, which is a pattern from Stitch'n'Bitch. I say 'my version' because I used different colors and put the inside pocket on the outside; otherwise I followed the pattern exactly.



I'm fairly satisfied with it. Next time I'm going to use a sturdier yarn; the one I used causes too much slouch and stretch, so the bag is really only suitable for knitting projects and not, say, my sketch or notebooks.

here you can really see the slouch.

Anyway, it was a big project, and I finished it, so I'm proud of that. Now I'm working on the Patchwork Baby Blanket for Fal. It's my own pattern. We'll see how that goes. 

There will be a rather large hiatus in my knitting and crocheting life, unfortunately -- as I mentioned, I am in the process of moving up to Powell River right now. Between the move and the time my house up there is ready (read: built) and organized, I will not have time to knit or crochet -- and all my yarn and stuff will be in boxes. 

Le sigh. Ah, well, it will prompt me to build the bungalow and get unpacked and cleaned up as fast as possible, so I can start knitting again! 

4.18.2010

I need you now

JV introduced me to Lady Antebellum and India.Arie today. New music loves. 

Well, I talked about EAT in my last post; I won't be going, because money is so tight. I'd really like to have a life where I can do the things that are important to me and not wonder where my next meal is coming from. I don't want to be rich. I just don't want to be so mind-numbingly poor. (I didn't go to Spring Mysteries, for the same reason and more -- difficult to explain here, so I'll save it for later, and Innocence and Immanence).

I've been sick for a while, and depressed off and on. This is standard for me. I just need it to be summer already. 

Regarding summer: moving back up to Powell River, and mom is planning on getting a bungalow built in the backyard for me, so I can have my own space. I already have a job lined up as a barista at a local new cafe. I shall wear my Questionable Content shirts and become a real-life Faye. (Though not really, cause I have to not drive away customers.)

In September, after labour day weekend, I'm going to move down to San Francisco. For school -- going to apply for a transfer to SF State for their theatre program -- but also because I just feel I have to. Intuition and tarot cards are all telling me to do it. 

Anyway, I'm off to design the bungalow using Google SketchUp, and perhaps do my homework. Or sleep, as it's 3 am. 

2.18.2010

Gentle Execution

First off, if you haven't gone and signed the petition to stop the anti-gay bill in Uganda that would make homosexuality punishable by prison or even death, go and do it right now. It takes fewer than five seconds, and proves your worth as a human being.

Guilt trip out of the way, I've got a lot on my mind lately, not least of which is my money trouble. My own fault, really, but that doesn't really matter now -- what matters is not getting kicked out of school and evicted. =/ Going to do a money spell tonight. And maybe again tomorrow. Looking for jobs, too, and trying like hells to sell my car.

Gods be praised, next week is Reading Week -- that means no school. Well, no class -- I still have to go and get crew hours or I fail Stagecraft BUT I DIGRESS. The week off gives me a chance to a) clean my house, b) read the books I have out from the library, c) write????, d) organize my shit. Etc, etc, etc. Maybe even watch some Battlestar Galactica with Nathan.

I'm probably not going to Spring Mysteries Festival, because money is so tight. However, there is still a chance to go to the Earth Activism Training from July 3 to 17th. I would be applying for the workstudy program, which would halve the cost of it but require me to show up early and leave late. That's ok.

The EAT program is incredibly important for me to go to -- it is taught by Starhawk, who is one of my modern-day heroes, and it's a permaculture design certificate course. It's important on a spiritual level that I'm having trouble articulating, but when I do I'll probably post a lengthy post on my [new] Pagan blog, Innocence and Immanence.

Anyway. Life is life. I live it.
-Katje
special destiny still not realized

2.08.2010

Prelude to War

Songs of the Gods

I'm trying to be on top of my music collection right now -- by which I mean actually getting around to listening to some of the stuff on there, and deciding what stays, what goes, and what goes where when it stays. In this process I am also discovering songs that remind me of my deities.

Currently the two main deities I have contact with/worship are Morrigan and Brighid. Brighid is very new; Morrigan has been around for....well, ever, according to Her, but I've only known about it for a few years. Brighid appeared shortly after I first "met" Morrigan, and I freaked out a little bit. Along the lines of "OMG TWO STRONG LADIES CANNOT HANDLE." She understood and left for a while, but now She's back, and it's clear it's time for me to acknowledge Her.

I've joined the Cill at The Cauldron, and now have shifts to keep Her flame. Tonight is my first official shift, though I kept the flame at Imbolc as well. It's become apparent to me through my...conversations*...with Her and Morrigan that this is a fostering type relationship, at least at this point in time. Morrigan is my main affair when it comes to divinity -- that will never change. But right now She's sort of...handed me over, I guess, to Brighid, so I can learn some things that She can't or doesn't want to teach me. Or that I won't take from Her. Parenting is a funny thing; while Morrigan is and is not my mother, our relationship is sometimes similar to a mother-daughter one.

Fostering was common in Celtic culture, so this sort of relationship makes sense. Brighid feels like...well, more like a mother type figure than Morrigan. Also like a sister. An older female relative who watches out for me, and keeps me in line. Two of them.

I have not known Brighid for long, but I have fallen in love with Her almost immediately. It is so pure and true I couldn't imagine life without Her. I also couldn't imagine life without Morrigan, Who I think I loved before I knew Her.

So, in my continuing search to feel closer to my Ladies, I am compiling lists of music that I feel suits Them. The lists are short, because my computer can't handle all my music files, but they'll get larger.

2.07.2010

Something Dark is Coming

Have made large updates to this blog, in template, title, and even url. Please change your bookmarks accordingly; it is not maitressekatje.blogspot.com but http://katjeknitwitch.blogspot.com/. Because I am a knitwit[ch]. Totally.

The title and sub-title are references to Battlestar Galactica (the new one).  If you haven't watched it, you should.

I'm going to be updating here more frequently, I hope, and talking a lot about my knitting, crochet, and other crafty projects. For now my public posts about my religion (witchcraft, if you haven't been paying attention) will go here too, until I feel it's time to make a separate blog about that.

Still going by the title of the song I'm currently listening to as the blog post entry. This particular one is from Battlestar Galactica OST S.2.

Regarding knitting: my Raverly profile. Soon I'll have pictures up of my projects. Whenever I get AA batts for my camera.

Peace out, kittens.
-Katje

2.05.2010

As Is

If anyone still reads this blog I should think I come off like a schizophrenic ferret addicted to crack.

And I am one of those things, marginally, so I suppose it's a fair comparison. (Schizotypal, for those wondering. Like Schizophrenia Lite. Not as crazy -- better for you!)

I should give a brief rundown of my life.

  • Regarding the post I made way back when about my Oma, and her dying...she's still alive, but she's been doing a rollercoaster of health for a long time now. We just don't know anymore. Was fairly sure back when I made that post that she was at death's door. She's slightly better now. But it's touch and go.
  • I'm still in Nanaimo, and have changed my plans for school like a MILLION times. Currently planning on staying here for a BA with a Major in English and a Minor in Theatre. Still living in the less-ghetto place, but having some issues. Currently looking into a three bedroom detached house down town.
  • Not terribly depressed anymore, but I have very strange mood swings. Two days ago I was deliriously happy, and now I'm weepy all the time. Go figure.
  • In a relationship. Long and complicated story that I don't really want made public, but I'll just say he's very, very good for me, and has helped me get over some of the residual heartache from the last two romantic disasters in my life.
  • Learned to knit. Love it.
  • Came down with mononucleosis last semester and it's still affecting me, but I work through it as best I can.

Those are the highlights -- er, main points of my life in the past six months. I'm going to try and update this blog more frequently. Probably try to copypaste from my Dreamwidth blog whenever I make a public post.

Also you all should go read my friend's blog about his experiences in Europe, because it's pretty awesome.

-Katje

8.22.2009

the sub-title of my blog

It refers to a line in "Coin-Operated Boy" by The Dresden Dolls where she says

can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
i didn't think so but i'm still convinceable

It means I'm still open to having someone prove to me that love exists -- for me, specifically. You still have a chance of convincing me -- truly convincing me -- that you love me.


Most days it's a lie. Today especially.

8.20.2009

I have a classy vagina

I was playing Rock Band last Fall semester with Bryce and when I got to create my band member I named her "Vagina," because it was funny to me.

I was warned by the game that the name wasn't "classy" and I wouldn't be listed on the leaderboards.

Ok, so putting aside the fact that it is supposedly a game for all ages --

no, wait, fuck that. Let's NOT put that aside.


Vagina.

Penis.

Labia.

Scrotum.


These are not bad words. They are words to describe human genitalia. (Actually, used to describe more than that, but for this case -- specifics.) Kids SHOULD know these words and what they pertain to: they should be taught the facts of life without use of euphemisms, because when you use euphemisms you disrespect a child's intelligence. On a more practical note, Gods forbid your child is molested and has to testify -- if she's saying "wormy"* instead of "penis" or "furzy"* instead of "vagina," guess what happens to your case? Defense attorney is not going to care that your child was molested: defense attorney is going to try and get her client off the hook. I should know, I was raised by attorneys.

But, ok -- parents these days expect the world to do the parenting for them, so it's no surprise that there are bans on words that aren't, in any form, "bad" (and I happen to be in George Carlin's, Gods rest his soul, school of thought with regards to bad words in general).

So let's move on to the wording: "Vagina isn't 'classy'". (I haven't tested if they would say the same for "penis", but I would not be surprised.) This is...a classist statement. It relegates human sexuality to the lower class, and denigrates the lower class by assigning human sexuality to it (an interesting bit of tautology, really, but what else do you deal with when dealing with the myriad sexual issues that pervade in modern Western society?). Labelling anything as "classy" or the opposite is a classist statement, and using it for sexuality or sexual terms furthers the Victorian belief that sex = bad.

This is silly coming from a video game whose very existence furthers the motto of "Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll" (I mean, just LISTEN to some of the songs my Gods). Why not change the wording to something more truthful: "We can't give this game its 'Teen' rating if we display the word 'Vagina' on the leaderboards, so consider changing your character's name."

Because, obviously, 'vagina' is worse than 'fuck', which is the catch-word of today's teen generation.




*For the record, those were my euphemisms for penis and vagina when I was a young child, but it was I who came up with them, as my parents were cool with in-house nudity.

5.29.2009

was going to do a news round-up today but I lost interest.

you'll live.

5.27.2009

HAY WORLD SMALL NEWS FLASH

SEXUALITY IS OK

DISRESPECT IS NOT

PLEASE TO NOT BE GETTING THE TWO CONFUSED

KAY THANX BAI
More stupidity from the world around you. Gathered and commented on by Honeyfeather.


Moving on -- here are a couple of feminist-themed tidbits, one bad, one good.

  1. I can't put this nicely, so I'll just say it how I see it. Twisty Faster is a fucking nutjob and, incidentally, a very good example of the reason why I hate most self-proclaimed radical feminists. "OBAMA HUGGED SOTOMAYOR HE MUST BE PATRONISING AND SEXIST." Yeah, I'm sure. Cause Obama has never hugged anyone before. Ever. Do you even pay attention?
    My rebuttal is not as good as Holly's over at The Pervocracy, however, so I recommend giving that one a good gander. (OH WAIT IS "GANDER" MALE DOMINATED LANGUAGE OH MY GODS I'M SUCH A BAD FEMINIST FOR ACKNOWLEDGING MEN AT ALL OH SHIT I DID IT AGAIN WHEN I SAID "GODS" I SHOULD JUST KILL MYSELF.)
  2. Ending on a positive note, the young people over at Women's Glib are the fresh, new, and inspiringly hopeful face of feminism. It warms my ancient heart to see young folks blogging so insightfully. Check out Jennifer's article about dating advice or lack thereof in women's and men's magazines first.

That's it for the news round up/feminist rant. If you support civil and equal rights for all, why not pledge to be part of the Courage Campaign? It's painless, I promise you.

In loving hostility,
-Honeyfeather
such a totally un-feminist name am i right?

5.26.2009

I haven't posted here in a while, but don't really have anything of interest to post. So I figured I'd do a little news round-up to keep you well-informed.

I leave you with a picture to keep in your prayers as he has been put onto the endangered species list:



Going for some food, because my slow computer means this post took me several hours.
-Katje

5.17.2009

I really wish I could draw better so I could start my own webcomic and get rich.

/sigh. I guess I'll just have to stick to the romance novel business.