I live lies inside my head to make me feel better; I tell lies to my mother so she won't worry. No, I don't smoke, yes my grades are fine, I was tired when I left that message, I'm fine, I'm ok, just the same old same old, I'm eating right, I'm sleeping fine, things are fine with me and whoever, I'm low on cash but I'll be fine, there are other lesser problems in my life you should look at, I have no big problems, please don't worry I won't kill myself.
I never really tried to live when Blue was here and now that she's gone I can't do it anymore. I never ever appreciated what she gave and now I've never felt loss so strongly. I took for granted what I thought would be around forever even when I KNEW it wouldn't be.
And every day I wish God had taken me instead.