a new life, a new blog. this is so silly of me. i should be sleeping. instead i am sitting and wasting the hours of the night, the good hours when the right hormones get manufactured.
maybe mom's right. i just to want to shoot myself in the foot. no matter what. if i can prove to the world and myself that i really am that fucked up, maybe everyone will leave me alone.
stupid.
i've lost my feeling of wanting to post in my old blog. the magic is gone. so i'm searching for new magic. as if there is such a thing. i just need a change.
before i sign off, some notes.
i do not always obey the english language. i know its rules very well, but at 4:22 am pacific standard time the will to capitalize escapes me. correct my english and face my wrath.
i don't really care what you think, unless you're a friend. and even then, i care minimally. i'm me. i post a blog for no reason except my own. so if you're here to say 'ur a fukin twat 4 thinking that stupid', save your breath. go do something appropriately rednecked. what are you doing near a computer anyway?
feelings are intense. words are trivial. i'm a writer. i understand my words are crap, because of the language to which they are limited. when english becomes a noun-less language and we are able to abandon the language of estrangement, to embrace holistic thinking and realize that we are of the source which does not exist because we are the source and the source is us and we are all connected so thoroughly that we are one, then what i write will be real. until then i try to make small changes. success is not my aim. i aim to do it, regardless of consequences.
that is it, for now.
jagged over and out.
