Flickerlight

Work tonight was .... interesting.

A few nights ago my co-worker came in with some of her friends to buy some alcohol. I warned her that our manager was on the warpath, cause when I'd come into work I'd gotten an earful about how my co-worker had forgotten to stock one or two things (our manager is really anal). I apparently said it wrong, because today my boss tells me (nicely) that next time an employee forgets to do something to not confront him or her but to leave a note for my manager or boss.

I explained that it hadn't been my intention to confront her but to warn her. I was doing the whole "Do unto others" thing that I usually avoid.

So my co-worker comes in tonight with her friends again and I apologize to her for being an asshole, basically. She accepted my apology and said "It would have been different had I been alone."

Now, I would just leave this at that but for the "Different if I were alone" bit.

I didn't say anything to her, but it got me to thinking. If you come in with your friends and your co-worker says something, and you're worried about what your friends are going to think--then what does that say about your friends? I mean, if the words of a white-ass parents-house-living college-drop-out lazy self-centered whore is going to seriously affect your friends' opinions of you, then shouldn't you have better friends?

Really, the only opinion that should matter to you is your own. (And in my case, Travis's. :3)

Off that topic.

Mom went to Vancouver today. Will be back tomorrow. My response to that short a trip is "What's the fucking point?"

Well, of course the point is that she sees her mom/my oma for a bit, which makes Oma happy. She (Oma) is going in for her pre-surgery interview tomorrow, and surgery is on Monday. She'll be in the hospital for 5 days afterwards. I'd say what the surgery was for, but I honestly can't remember. I think it's for her eye, but I could be wrong.

Regardless: she will feel 100 X better afterwards. I know it.

Anyway, mom took Major with her, so I am alone in the house (except the perpetually drunk cat*).

*Kitty has an ear infection right now, and is meandering all over the house like a drunkard.

Speaking of drunkards, tonight I refused to sell beer to an intoxicated customer and he told me to shove it up my fucking ass. (Verbatim.) When I told him that if I sold to him I would lose my job, he said he didn't care about all that. Some people.

Today is Annie's birthday, but I cannot call her because she is in Newfoundland. But she is with her luvher, Deuzma, so 'sall good.

It is amazing how quickly two people can become such close friends.

Today is also Midsummer, but as I was working I did not do anything. Le sigh. One of these days I'll actually celebrate a freaking sabbat.

This whole thing about warning my co-worker has made me realize, abruptly, that I am a fucking gossip.

Slapself.

Drama doesn't follow me it rides on my back...

x Jana

sister i'm not much

:a poet but a criminal:


118am and why am i up? mindlessly blogging, that's why.

all is good on my front, aside from a crazy drug lord ex-tenant and a cat with an inner ear infection. walks like a drunk. (the cat does.)

in the process of codifying my beliefs....if i ever do the DTWC faq will be on my lj (I have more than one, actually--this one is strictly for magickal/witchy stuff).

and have just finished typing up my entry into the 2007 Pagan Fiction Award and Anthology contest...don't think i'll win--it's for short stories really and i'm entering in a few chapters of Bellica, but we'll see.

need to sleep now.

loves.
j

like golden fire

my hair grows down and tangles.

immanence is up and running. yay!

and has a myspace and a facebook.


and i've been up since 3pm yesterday, so it's sleepy byes for jana.


x j

stupid

What's a really good thing to do when you've had no sleep and are already travelling down Emo Lane?

Take a side trip down Memory Street: High School Crescent.

This was a bad, bad idea.

Oh, let's search the ex-love of your life, Jana--good idea! While we're at it, why don't we take a look at his girlfriend too? And remind ourselves just how perfect they are for each other?

I'm so fucking pathetic.

I have a boyfriend, arguably the best boyfriend in the world, and yet I can't be happy because things aren't perfect.

I want to be back in Maui. I want to be back in Maui. I want to be back in Maui.

I'm wasting my life whether I'm here or there. I may as well be there.

holy fucking shit bear

tonight at work was HELL. HELL, I TELL YOU. 300 people came in for their grad dinners and they DINED IN HELL.

and i have nothing else to say.

except i spent the last few hours creating this:




i fucking rock.

lovelove
j

aaahhhh

I have to work tonight and I really don't want to.

:(

sing'n picard

GO. AND LOVE.

So. White. And. Nerdy. ROFL.

There are four lights! There are FIVE lights!

Ok, I started this post with the need to say something coherent about my life, but that soon ended. /sigh.

Anyway, I started a new blog....like I need one more. But I've felt a need to have a place where I can talk about my religion exclusively, and be part of Pagan-ish communities. I haven't let on, but since that internet war that I posted about a while ago I've felt very...blank and closed, I guess would be closest to what I'm feeling. I feel nervous about ever saying anything about what I believe again, for fear of reprisals, and actually not even really sure about my faith. It's affected me on a very deep level (the religion level), more than I care to admit. But since it happened I've found it hard to concentrate on the faith-based activities I should be concentrating on. My last ritual sucked. Really sucked. And it's because this issue is in the back of my mind.

It shouldn't really bother me that much, I suppose, and technically she didn't say anything mean-spirited, at least if you're an objective observer. But the truth is that since telling her in pm that I admired her, her posts to me had been getting steadily more challenging and critical--as if she was testing me, my devotion to my mistress, as I'm sure it translated to her.

After my last post I sent her a pm saying sorry if I came off too heavy-handed. Haven't heard back from her yet. Don't think I will.

And I've come to realize...all that glitters is not gold. In standard form that quote probably would not apply here, but I feel it does. So.

Anyway. I'm trying to heal. But it's hard. So I feel this other blog will help.

over and out
Jagged

no pr0n for Jana

so i ended up searching for my site + the word porn, to see if it would turn up, and didn't find it.

but did find this site and this blog.

go figure.

i still have not finished what should be a 2-page porn story....*rolls eyes* shows how comfortable i am writing about the subject.

in other news, marilyn manson's new album is the shizznick.

over and out
|J|