i'm tired of posting on my LJ. i think i'll just stay over there for all the drahmah and wank that goes on in the communities. it's entertaining.
yes, last time i posted i was < / 3-en, but it passed. or rather i should say our relationship is repaired, fine, but i'll never get over the < / 3. i never do. it's just there forever and at some point it gets easier to ignore or deal with. it doesn't mean things have changed drastically or anything. i still love Travis, he still loves me, we both still have major fucking issues. we're still long distance. we're still making it work. it's still hard. i'm feeling really conflicted right now. i want to be back in canada but not in powell river, because i come back and suddenly there's shitloads of stuff for me to deal with and it's major stressful. i have no money, for one, but don't want/can't handle a job because my back is in such major pain. i want to go back to hawaii, even though i know that would be really stupid for a lot of reasons. i don't necessarily want to go back to the house i'm staying in up here because the other tenant is fucking nuts, but i don't want to stay at my mom's house because it's cold and i miss my bed. i miss Travis and want him to be near me, whether that means here or in hawaii. honestly i'd rather be with Travis, in nanaimo, going to school. that would be the best option. but i don't think i can save enough money for that because i don't think there's a job i can do. i don't know. i just want to disappear into one of my books and not come out for a very long time. is that so much to ask for? g2g, fingers getting frostbite.
yes, last time i posted i was < / 3-en, but it passed. or rather i should say our relationship is repaired, fine, but i'll never get over the < / 3. i never do. it's just there forever and at some point it gets easier to ignore or deal with. it doesn't mean things have changed drastically or anything. i still love Travis, he still loves me, we both still have major fucking issues. we're still long distance. we're still making it work. it's still hard. i'm feeling really conflicted right now. i want to be back in canada but not in powell river, because i come back and suddenly there's shitloads of stuff for me to deal with and it's major stressful. i have no money, for one, but don't want/can't handle a job because my back is in such major pain. i want to go back to hawaii, even though i know that would be really stupid for a lot of reasons. i don't necessarily want to go back to the house i'm staying in up here because the other tenant is fucking nuts, but i don't want to stay at my mom's house because it's cold and i miss my bed. i miss Travis and want him to be near me, whether that means here or in hawaii. honestly i'd rather be with Travis, in nanaimo, going to school. that would be the best option. but i don't think i can save enough money for that because i don't think there's a job i can do. i don't know. i just want to disappear into one of my books and not come out for a very long time. is that so much to ask for? g2g, fingers getting frostbite.
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