New Beginnings

2009 is going to be amazing and good. It has to be because it can't be any worse than 2008. I know I'm going to look at the incoming new year with hope in my eyes and a feeling that things will work out this time. 

Hope that may get crushed soon afterwards, but c'est la vie. 

2008 has been a rollercoaster of emotion for me. It has been incredibly tough on me -- even the good times have been tough, for a lot of them have been results of major change. And major change is always hard to adjust to. 

This coming year I'm making a...well, not a resolution, because I never keep those. We'll just say it's something I'm going to do. And that is I'm going to be alone. Not isolated, not lonely. Just...alone. The highest point of 2008 and the lowest point both had to do with men. I'm tired of having my life revolve around someone else's. I'm tired of having my emotions go on rollercoasters because of my relationships. From now on it's going to be Katje feels this way because of what Katje is doing, not because of the PMS her lover is experiencing. No more Katjeand[insert name here]. Just Katje from now on. 

I do have some goals for this year as well. Some are listed in the previous entry (more specifically, what I'm going to accomplish by equinox, or March 30th). Others have been made tonight. 

• Write 200,000 words this year on several projects. 
• Finish three books. 
• Write 12 poems (one a month). 
• Publish a book of poetry. 
• Get my publishing company up and running.
• Work through Evolutionary Witchcraft. 
• Look into pursuing Women's Studies as a double-minor (and possibly declare).
• Eat well. Sleep at night. Stay fit.

The standard self-betterment procedures. I hope this time I follow through. I think, though, that I've finally made some breakthroughs in my wall of issues and will finally be able to complete a lot of my goals. 

In 20 minutes my new life will begin. 

Goodbye and good riddance, 2008. 

Hello, 2009. Aren't you a pretty pretty thing.

-Kat

Invisible

Well, I've been great on the sleeping thing. Two nights in a row I've gone to bed early and waked up by 7am. If I can keep this up into the school year I'm home free. 

I've started participating in the Life's To Do List thing on The Cauldron -- it's a quarterly thing where you post your goals for the quarter and update as to how they're coming along. First quarter is from Yule to Ostara (winter solstice to spring equinox). So here is my list of 26 goals. 

Career! Which is not to say money, because I am an artist. 
1. Finish and publish Bellica by February. 
2. Work on getting accepted as model at a certain company.
3. After finishing Bellica start writing more on The Man of Bronze.
4. Don't mess up with stage-managing Vagina Monologues (ie, get a good recommendation and have something worth putting on my resume).

School
1. Another four-A semester, at least. 
2. Pass History this time around. 
3. Get my books before classes start. Maybe? (Depending on when my loan comes in of course.)

Body/Mind/Spirit/Wallet
1. Work on getting rid of the Buddha Belly. 
2. Get my next two tattoos in January (presumably when my tattoo-artist friend comes to visit me).
3. Go to the school gym regularly. (My gods, Katje, the membership is free -- what are you waiting for? Aside from the campus to open again.)
4. Get rid of stuff/stop being such a packrat. (Following that, become more tidy. Hard to do with this much stuff.)
5. Get a job. Make money. 
6. See a psychologist. 
7. Go to the dental clinic. 
8. Work on getting that Mac. 
9. Put away enough money for Witchcamp and possibly Dragon*Con.
10. Get car fixed and re-insured.
11. Read more books; donate ones I don't wish to keep to Literacy Nanaimo. 
12. Get snow clothing.

Staving off Depression (fun stuff!)
1. Spend more time with friends (so long as homework/etc is done). 
2. Watch season two of Battlestar Galactica (after Bryce gets it, of course).
3. Watch through every movie I haven't seen in my DVD library. 
4. Make friends watch every movie they haven't seen. 
5. Go to the outdoor drug-free rave party thing in February. 
6. Complete Final Fantasy VII. 
7. Finish FFX (again) and then FFX-2, provided the latter gets mailed to me (ex still has my stuff).

Grades et al

Two A's, two A+'s, an Incomplete until I do the final in January, and an F. 

The surprising part is where I got those grades. A+ in Theatre? No surprise. Her class is designed in much the same way the final battle with Yu Yevon in Final Fantasy X is -- you CAN'T lose. Also, it's fucking theatre. Of course I rock that shit. 

A+ in French? OMGWHAT.

A in Sociocultural Anthropology. I admit surprise. I was her best student and was fairly sure I'd get an A+. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Just an "Oh, ok," sort of surprise, not a "WHAT OMG I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT I'M SO MAD" sort. 

Here's the big surprise: F in History and INC in English. I was pretty sure I'd get an F in English and a D in History. However, I am a lazy whore and didn't do my final paper for Hist, and so forfeited my grade. Also I'm pretty sure I bombed the final. 

Now, if I pass English by acing the exam and end up with a fail in History, I am going to laugh so hard. So so hard. 

In other news, I am not going to any sort of family thing for Christmas. Bryce is coming over and we are having turkey et al dinner. I'm making him bring dessert. Debating whether or not I should make mashed potatoes from the box I have or if I should buy potatoes and make em from scratch. Regardless I need to get milk, so maybe I'll pick some taters up while I'm doing that, just as an "in case the fake mash sucks balls". 

Excited! Which is saying something major, as I've been moping around the house like Major when he's been scolded since the winter break began. So tired. So depresed. So emo.

Also, very very hungry. Going to go eat now. 

in memoriam

Bettie Page died Thursday night. She was 85. 

I am incredibly sad. She was one of my idols, and now I'll never get a chance to meet her.  I realize this is an incredibly selfish reason to be upset over her death, but I can't help it. She was an amazing woman. The world has lost someone great, in my opinion. I can only be grateful that she passed peacefully, and will be remembered fondly. 

Gods-speed, Bettie Page, you Fancy Bastard (as Joel Watson of Hijinks Ensue would say). Your contributions to the sexual landscape of Western society were incredibly valuable, and you helped shape the future and pave the road for the sexual revolution of the 1960s. As sexual beings, and as women, we are indebted to you. I hope the Summerland holds all you could possibly want.