- In political/justice/law news: Obama has chosen a new Supreme Court Justice: Sonia Sotomayor, a 54 year old Latina woman from New York. The President said Sonia was "an inspiring woman who I believe will make a great justice". Feminocracy blogs about it with a retort to the conservatives' bitching, and The Wild Hunt speaks about how Sotomayor will mean good things for Pagans and members of other non-Abrahamic religions. Shakesville writers also contribute.
- In "We're stupid assholes" news: California has upheld the gay marriage ban, though they have not invalidated the 18,000 marriages that occurred in the six months it was legal, though it doesn't really fucking matter, it's more just a consolation prize in the face of being told you're not really human and don't deserve the same rights as heterosexuals, who are human (obviously), or bisexuals who het-marry, who are really subhuman but we overlook their nasty tendencies because they have the decency to hide what they are. FUCK YOU FOR LOVING SOMEONE. Hey, California, I have an idea: while you're doing all this great work for the religious right, why not take it a step further? Take away women's vote. And black people. Goddamn skirts never should have been given suffrage, and people as dark as Cain himself voting? Why it's a very affront to the Lord Our God. I'm sure the Governator would agree with me here. AM I RIGHT? (Or am I left?)
- In "Hillary Clinton is a badass motherfucker don't you mess with this bitch" news: Hillary Clinton has given the same rights and benefits to unmarried partners of US Diplomats as married partners had -- this includes both homosexual and heterosexual unions. That means domestic partners of Diplomats will now get healthcare, have their moving expenses paid for, and actually be evacuated in the time of an emergency. While this news does not totally cancel out the bad feelings from the "Stupid Fuckhead California" news, it does alleviate the pain a small bit and makes us all so happy Hillary accepted the post Obama offered her. Thank you Secretary Clinton! We salute you!
- In "the British and Irish still hate each other so do Catholics and Protestants" news: A Catholic father of four was beaten to death by alleged members of the UDA in Coleraine, Northern Ireland. When his wife tried to stop the gang, she was beaten as well, and when her pregnant neighbor stepped in to save the two of them, she too was beaten. Because UDA is a bunch of assholes. Like most terrorist groups, I would imagine. The widow has said her late husband would not have wanted retaliation against the men who killed him. Theirs was a mixed marriage (Catholic-Protestant). So, you know, it's the same old story: a good man, a good Catholic, a good father -- all around example of a good guy -- gets beaten to death in his neighborhood and his grieving wife says he wouldn't want retaliation against the murdering fuckheads who put him into an early grave because he's forgiving like that -- and the assholes who did it are free to roam around and kill more of the few good men we have in this world. What I want to know is when are the women going to take up arms and say "Enough is e-fucking-nough!"?
- In "Gay people are Godless" news: Church in Scotland can't make up its fucking mind regarding the ordination of gay ministers: first they backed the idea, and now there's a two-year ban on it. Call us when you get it figured out, Scotland. Maybe allowing people to be openly gay will stop with the sheep-raping.
- In "Canadian-US relations" news: Things still suck. Canada has ever been a friend of America (please note I am only speaking of the history in which Canada was an actual, independent country -- years under British rule when we won a war against them and then burned down the White House in retaliation is not being counted here), and yet the border is getting ever more militarized and police state-esque. I hope that President Obama figures out that by upholding this particular policy of Bush's he's only hurting America in the long run. Americans can still come up here with ease to spend money in our economy, but Canadians no longer wish to travel down to the US all that often. FOR FEAR OF GETTING SHOT.
Canada and the US have also signed a pact that allows the two countries' law enforcement agencies to work together. If you thought there was nothing hotter than a Mountie, try a Mountie on a boat, next to a Coast Guard officer. Girl-boner achieved. It can be yaoi tiems nao plez? - In "Final Frontier" news: A meterorite contains some building blocks of life on it. I'm not really sure what this means, scientifically. It's just cool.
Maj. Gen. Charles Bolden, a former astronaut, has been chosen to lead NASA. This can only be good as astronauts really know their shit when it comes to space.
Method of discovering alien oceans developed. This means they may find planets capable of supporting life.
And finally, President Obama made a phone call to the space shuttle Atlantis. In their conversation he told the crew "I can assure you that it's a high priority of mine to restore that sense of wonder that space can provide." - In "Oh shit health" news: 100,000 cases in Zimbabwe make this Africa's worst Cholera epidemic in 15 years. Um, ok. Cholera is treatable. The only reason that it's an epidemic right now is because Zimbabwe lacks the monetary resources to have proper sanitation, treat the thousands afflicted, etc. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE WESTERN WORLD DOING RIGHT NOW I MEAN REALLY. Hello, Europe and America and Canada: you're frakkin' rich compared to Zimbabwe. Send some support. Stupids.
- In "We can never take responsibility for the things we do so we must blame obvious causes in our environment, because of course correlation = causation!" news: Germany is considering a crackdown on paintball because some asshole killed some people. WITH A REAL GUN OH SNAP. CAUSE THOSE ARE TOTALLY THE SAME. (Wake the fuck up Germany seriously.) HEY YOU KNOW I PLAY WOW A LOT AND I LOVE GRAND THEFT AUTO 4 BECAUSE THEY GIVE ME GOOD IDEAS ON HOW TO TAKE DOWN BIG DEMON KINGS, SNAKE PEOPLE, AND OH YEAH HOW TO KILL HOOKERS AND PUT THEM IN THE TRUNK OF MY CAR BECAUSE YOU KNOW I'D NEVER KNOW HOW TO DO THAT FROM I DON'T KNOW WATCHING THE FUCKING NEWS.
As well, alcohol is obviously the drug of choice to blame when someone does something shitty. Because in vino veritas really doesn't mean anything and alcohol doesn't lower your inhibitions and reveal traits and thoughts and attitudes that were there all along, just cloaked under a veneer "BUT I'M A DECENT WHITE KID" or Christian or Male or whatever else we hold up as "decent" that you want to insert there. No, a decent male Christian white kid would NEVER commit a hate crime! NEVER! IT MUST BE THE DEMON RUM. Where is the Ladies' Temperance Union when you need it? - In "More overreaction from Germany" news: Oh my gods, they used coca leaf extract THAT'S EXACTLY LIKE COCAINE.
- In "We also cannot make up our minds about stuff" news: Iran blocks Facebook because people had opinions on it, and then restores access a few days later. Wtf Iran.
- In "Despite having Obama as our new leader, the US is still a jerk" news: American military killed a bunch of women and children in Afghanistan and then lied about the numbers. What a surprise.
- In "I don't know what to call this" news: Twitter to launch its own TV series based on the popular social networking site. Good? More distraction for the masses, I suppose.
Governor General of Canada eats seal heart to show respect for seal hunters. Because tradition should ALWAYS outweigh common sense and facts about the biodiversity crisis.
That's a health hazard! A man's roommate found slaughtered chickens and dead fish in the man's bedroom. No one knows the fuck why.
Japan finds a new way to be weird. Printing horror stories on toilet paper now -- actually, a sound business move considering the Japanese cultural obsession with horror stories and especially ones to do with water and bathrooms. - In "LOLSWINEFLU" news: A man who they think have swine flu is critical in a UK hospital. Even if he does have it it's doubtful that's what's killing him -- he has a score of other health issues, and swine flu kills those whose immune systems are strongest because of the cytokine storm it sets off in your system. Which is why I smoke and drink and expose myself to sick people regularly.
Not an epidemic yet and maybe won't be, but swine flu has shown us exactly how bad healthcare and funding for it is in the US and how fucked the whole country is if this thing does go pandemic on us. Especially California. - In "Biodiversity crisis/Climate change" news: Honeycreepers face extinction as temperature rises in Hawaii, allowing bird diseases to climb towards the Honeycreepers' remaining habitat. I can't comment on this further; it makes me too sad.
- In "if you're fat you should kill yourself you disgusting pig" news: Shakesville comments on the "Quote of the Day" from MeMe Roth about how victims of sex criminals weren't really victims because they enjoyed it and the same can be said for fat people with eating disorders. Or something along those lines; it gets kind of hazy and I see red at some point. MeMe Roth is a horrible horrible person who will hopefully die a long, drawn-out, painful death by some uncurable genetic disorder that makes her get horribly fat and unable to lose weight ever again. No matter what she does. Then we can circle around her and shame her, because that's what she would want.
Because, you know, obviously obesity is child abuse. I should have my parents locked up because I happen to like chocolate cake. GO FUCK YOURSELF UP THE ASS MEME ROTH. WITH THIS. - In "The animal kingdom" news: Scientists closer to figuring out how the human brain process speech. Yes, humans are animals. Take a fucking biology class.
Rooks are really cool and cute and can use fucking tools!
Rats stay close to the 'hood. Because relating them to black people is totally not a metaphor for how black people are vermin. (Good job, scientific community.)
Beetles destroy homes. Starship Troopers all over again.
Taz is going to die unless we band together, kids! SAVE TAZ!

Going for some food, because my slow computer means this post took me several hours.
-Katje