Yesterday was interesting

Oh gods. I babysat yesterday, but surprisingly that was one of the better parts of my day.

Where to begin?

Oh, yes, the beginning is always good.

Waked up from a terrible nightmare -- an anger-inducing, not fear-inducing one, so when my eyes shot open I was lying rigid, hands balled into fists, heart beating a mile a minute, hardly able to breathe, and ready to kill something. Now, I am never in a good mood when I wake up and Travis isn't beside me, but this was particularly bad.

So, whatever. I get over the anger, go through my morning routine, am relatively calm when I go to let the dog out....

and stand in wonder, staring at my driveway.

Someone told me garbage got picked up on Tuesday mornings on my street.

That someone was wrong.

Because, before my bleary, sleep-gummed eyes, are the two bags of garbage I'd put out at 3am, only strewn across the universe by some furred mammal or another. I'm guessing it's the same seven-foot raccoon that's been terrorizing my trash for a while now.

I say fuck it and go back inside.

Eventually I get showered and dressed and go to send email to Travis (a part of our daily D/s routine), as it needs to go out by a certain time, and I won't be able to do it while babysitting. Before any of this happens sirens go by, and Major sings along with them. For twenty minutes. I love his voice, but there's a damn limit.

Whatever. First I clean up the garbage, and put the two now thrice-bagged bags into my trunk, where they remain still, waiting to go to the dump. Finally I've got all my stuff into the car, dog check, books check, camera check, etc check, and manage to leave.

I get to my mom's place to do email, etc. It's almost time for me to pick up A___ from school, so I need to be quick. I load the attachments to the email, browsing my forums while I wait for it to send.

And wait for it to send.

And wait for it to send.

......and.......wait.........for.......it........to.................s...e....n.....d........... *expires*

Eventually I can see I can't wait for it if I want my life back, so I have to call Travis and tell him he won't be getting his email till later because Gmail is a dirty, filthy whore.

Ok, so I go and pick up A____ no problem, go do my bank errand, and get her home.

I go to tie up Major in the yard.

There is a cat at the place where I babysit A___, a normally pretty sweet feline named Circles. A____ sees Circles in the yard, scared of Major, and asks me to go get the cat and bring her inside, so she won't have to deal w/ the dog. Not that Major would do anything to her except maybe cuddle her for hours, but hey -- I do not argue w/ 8-year-olds.

So I go and get the cat. Major is tied up already. I'm holding the cat, trying to get past the dog, who is just so damn excited that mistress has brought him his very own cat omg. I'm walking slowly and talking in soothing tones so as not to upset the cat --

-- which doesn't really matter as she freaks and tears my fucking face off.

Literally. The cat attempted to give me sinus surgery. Somehow her paw got inside my nose and ripped up in there, as well as outside the nose, all over my head, chest, and arms. There are two huge holes in my shirt. I don't even know how she did it, except I pity any ladders that have held her, being one myself.

Look! Photos!



Fuzzy picture, but the only one in which I am attractive. The rest will burn your eyes out.
Which is why I'm going to show them! :D



Taken hours ago, when the swelling wasn't so bad.



Here you can start to see the current lopsidedness of my nose. This was taken just now, but at a bad angle.



Ah, here we go. Full-on lopsidedness. That is a swollen-ass nose. It hurts constantly.



And here you can see to some extent the scratches on my chest, as well as one of the holes in my shirt.

I didn't even get into the wounds on my forehead and ears.


So. I fall to the ground, writhing in agony (and throughout all of this I say not one swearword in front of my young charge, for which I deserve a fucking medal), hands covering nose, wondering if I'll be able to breathe at the end of the day.*

We get me inside, and go to get cleaned up and there is blood everywhere. Everywhere. Head wounds gush. I should know; I've had experience with them before, and not just yesterday. I spurted enough blood to make the Red Cross cry at the waste of donatable Type O. Well, not so sterile once it had hit the bathroom sink and perhaps even my face, but still. Lots. of. blood. zomg.

Weel, all this would not be so bad -- the bleeding stopped, after all, and the cat missed my eyes and any vitals (I think) -- were I not allergic to cats.

Oh yes. Not by much, mind you. But enough to still be in considerable discomfort.

I feel like I have a stuffy nose, except instead of mucous leaking at the back of my throat it's a blood-mucous composite. My entire nose is sore and swollen, tender to the touch, and when I sneezed about 15 minutes ago my uterus tried to escape my body in my effort to hold back said expulsion of dander from my olfactory glands.

I used to like cats...now, I'm not so sure.

Anyway, I ended up having a good time with A____, who's a very sweet and intelligent girl, and then later on last evening I went to the Art Jam at Loco's - where I had pleasant food and company. Talked to a tattoo-artist/painter friend about my next tattoo, and I think we'll be able to work something out. So that's good.

But no, I have not slept, because I have not been terribly tired, and now there's no point until I finish my errands, so.... Besides, I have no Benadryl, and I really wish I did, because it would make me feel better. Or at least force me to sleep. Oh, Benadryl comas, how I miss thee.

Anyway, here's a Youtube vid that will probably sum up a lesser version of what happened to me today (after all, this fucker is wearing jeans -- can't wear denim on your FACE).

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*Yes, but barely.